A scientist living in Staines
Is searching with infinite pains
For a new type of sound
Which he hopes, when it's found,
Will travel much faster than planes.

Tis a favourite project of mine
A new value of pi to assign.
I would fix it at 3
For it's simpler, you see,
Than 3 point 1 4 1 5 9.

There was a young fresher at Johns
Who started molesting the swans.
A quick thinking porter
Said " Here, take my daughter!
Them swans is reserved for the dons."

There was a young fellow named Hyde
Who fell down a privy and died.
His unfortunate brother
Then fell down another,
And now they're interred side by side.

There was a young fellow named Hall
Who fell in the spring in the fall.
'Twould have been a sad thing
Had he died in the spring,
But he didn't -- he died in the fall.